By Jaime Richman

I’m the proud parent of a 6-year-old boy. He is smart, funny, and full of life. He is also autistic and has developmental delays, including in areas like self-care. He still needs help with changing and toileting. That’s okay — it’s just part of where he is developmentally right now. But as he’s gotten older, one thing has become clear: the world is not built for children like him.

The problem is that most of the places we go — community centers, public bathrooms, aftercare programs, even camps — are not equipped to support his needs.

When he was younger, it wasn’t as big of a deal. Changing a toddler’s diaper is expected. But now that he’s 6 and getting bigger, things have gotten harder — not because he’s changed, but because the world around him has stopped accommodating.

Most programs and providers who would change a 4-year-old won’t do the same for a 6-year-old. And as he’s gotten bigger, the spaces we once relied on have become less accessible — or simply not usable at all.

Most public bathrooms don’t have changing tables big or sturdy enough for children like my son. Stalls are too small for two people. The few tables that do exist are made for infants — narrow, wobbly, and out in the open, without privacy. More times than I care to admit, we’ve had to change him on the floor of a public restroom. Even with a pad, it’s not clean, it’s not safe, and it’s certainly not dignified.

It’s the same with programs and services. Many aftercare programs and camps won’t accept children who aren’t potty trained. They draw a line at age — not need.

And as a working parent, this lack of support makes everything harder. My sister and I share the responsibility of caring for my child, but the juggling act between work and his needs takes a real toll.

Here’s the part that really hurts: My son isn’t the problem. His needs aren’t unusual — what’s unusual is how unprepared our public spaces are to meet them. And this isn’t just about him.

This is about so many people: children with disabilities, adults with mobility or cognitive impairments, aging parents, people recovering from surgery, people with chronic illness. Anyone who needs assistance with toileting — at any stage of life — deserves dignity, privacy, and access.

When public spaces don’t provide that, people are excluded. Families stay home. Parents leave jobs. We’re pushed out of community life — out of programs, public places, and opportunities.

This is a disability rights issue. A public health issue. A basic human dignity issue. And it’s also a universal issue. Because at some point, almost every one of us will either give care — or need care. That’s part of being human.

Accessibility isn’t just for a few. It benefits everyone. Universal changing tables. Private, spacious restrooms. Trained, compassionate staff. These aren’t luxuries — they’re common-sense solutions with far-reaching impact. If we want truly inclusive communities — where everyone can show up, participate, and belong — we need to design our spaces with real people in mind.

So I’m asking you: listen to families like mine. Support inclusive policies. Advocate for better infrastructure, better training, and better care. Because when we build a world that supports those with the greatest needs, we build a world that works better for everyone.

And when people like my son are seen — really seen — that’s when change begins.

 

This speech was given by Jaime Richman, TLC’s Manager of Strategic Impact & Outreach, as part of her graduation project for the Ability Leadership Project of North Carolina (ALP-NC). The Ability Leadership Project of North Carolina (ALP-NC) initiative is a partnership between Disability Rights North Carolina and the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) with NC stakeholders that designed an innovative and unique leadership development program for people with intellectual and other developmental disabilities (I/DD), family members and guardians, professionals, and other stakeholders to support advocacy for systems change in North Carolina.